My war pony named, "Nishkaadizi"

Things are very unseemly when it comes to these politics that start in the senate halls and end in suffrage within the Anishinaabe household, it breeds depression, discontentment, ignorance, yet those Anishinaabe that are lucky enough to rise above these conditions. They become insensitive and lose touch with the reality that afflict our people, I have also been blessed with the opportunity to provide my children with a better life. I have struggled and succeeded to provide them with a chance to save them from this suffrage that happens within our community. I do not tell them that they are better then those of our people that are victim of these conditions of discrimination, I teach them to be thankful for these gifts of opportunity. Not to take anything for granted, for some of those that find themselves living within these conditions, they themselves alone can not rise above these obstacles without the assistance of their fellow Anishinaabe, and that is our responsibility to our people as a tribe. This is the love some of us have forgotten, and I tell them it is their responsibility also to help our people if they are having trouble standing on their own. It is sad and disturbing when we have to protect ourselves from our own peoples ignorance, it is hard to learn to trust the white man when we can not trust ourselves in some cases, but I have, and I learned to be stronger then this ignorance that ravages our community. Yet, I find myself deeply involved within debate and conflict with those of my people that have such strong corruption of this ignorance, it spills over on to my responsibilities, and I let anger cloud my humility, I erupt in anger, and yes I am ashamed of my anger, but isn't it my anger that has pushed me this far, that has helped me survive when things weren't in my favor. In times of desperation I have relied on my anger to help me persevere, and I ask myself, why have I empowered anger to help me sustain my life to this degree? And I reflect on the path that has brought me here, I conjure the spirits of my past to help me understand my own inner conflict, because it pisses me off that my ancestors were killed, lied to, neglected and ignored. It enrages me to see these things continue in front of my eyes today, it becomes maddening to the point of outrage to see my own people doing these things to ourselves, in my past I've acted out in violence, my anger has created a bad reputation for myself, it has brought me into jails and correctional facilities not dealing with my anger in a constructive way. Now I have grown out of these undisciplined behaviors, yet anger is still a strong part of my life, I have utilized it to fuel my passion to help my people, will I ever stop being angry? Anger has been debated and defended throughout history by the most intelligent of men, and here I sit trying to find resolution for my angry ways, why? Because I have let those with heavy opinion of my anger effect my outlook on its presence within my life, I do not pride my anger, but I see the value of it. Their has been equally positive and negative effects throughout history involving anger, anger has provoked change, has created suffrage, people tell me to let go of my anger, and when I do, I find myself lost and distraught. Weakness ensues, manipulation occurs, and that is when the anger reoccurs, why because I have turned my back on my old friend to allow myself to be taken advantage of, maybe someday I will have no use for my anger, some day my people will be free from this suffrage, so until then, I intend to be very angry, because it is not I who needs to heal from this anger, it is our community that must heal from that lack of anger of our conditions. My community needs my anger, their is no logical reason for me to let go of my anger, my parents and grandparents were denied the opportunity to be angry at the conditions that befell them, and look at where that has gotten us, anger comes from displeasure of conditions. From being antagonized by our oppressors, do not confuse my anger for hatred or ignorance, the wrath of my anger has proven to be beneficial to my survivial, my anger has opened my eyes to a lot of manipulation, it has encouraged me to ask questions, and to act upon my convictions, anger has allowed me to love my people, to understand their frustrations, to speak out on their behalf, my enemies have come to fear me for my anger, not of the reaction of violence, but for the truth I speak of out of my anger, when I allow anger to empower me. That is when I accomplish the most for my people, so I ask those of you that discourage my anger, why must you insist their is no use for my anger when it is obvious my anger has produced results when utilized appropriately? Are you scared of my anger? Are you envious of my anger? I ask these questions because those people that tell me. "Curtis, don't be so angry." I have to ask, why? Why do you wish to rob me of my opportunity to vent my anger in a positive way? My anger isn't reckless, not anymore. It is a very enlightened disciplined anger, anger and I are old friends, why have most of you neglected your anger? Why haven't you learned how to master and harness your anger? Why are you scared of your anger? My intentions are to use my anger until it has no purpose, until then, I will encourage all of my people to be angry at these conditions we are subjected to, why? Because we can rise out of this discontentment on the backs of our anger, anger is the name of my war pony, I stole it from the white man to help me defeat the enemies of our people on the battlefield. I will ride into battle on my war pony named 'anger' until my enemies kill us, that is how I wish to die, that is how I wish to be remember, as the angry ojibwe that stood and died for his people because he was angry at what his people allowed to become of his tribe, because they denied themselves their right to be angry at the conditions that victimized our people for too long. To help them realize the importance of our humility, for that humility to allow us to be angry and fight back so that our children will not know of this anger.