I went to this meeting about cultural differences and understandings with my friend Greg a week back, there was all kinds of white people, a few Ojibwe, a few indians that acted like white people, and a white man sat at the head of this meeting. He was a cool white guy, seemed like a fella I could get along with, he started talking about our language, how he witnessed other indians utilizing their language. Saying how we've lost this cultural significance of our tribal identity, then I thought to myself, how come I have to be speaking my language for these people for them to understand I'm Ojibwe? I talk Ojibwe, my children talk Ojibwe, I didn't forget who I am, they forgot who I am. I pray like my ancestors prayed, I laugh Ojibwe, I cry Ojibwe, so I sat here and watched him tell these Indians how they have forgot how to be Ojibwe. I didn't get mad, I just thought it was funny, then this other white man spoke up, telling us he has placed Ojibwe words in 100 businesses in Bemidji, everyone thought he was just the greatest white guy to the indians, while I sat there thinking "wow, theres 100 businesses in this lil' racest city' I wasn't impressed. I'll be impressed when theres is 100 Ojibwe working in 100 businesses in Bemidji, these white people that think their helping us are just playing to their illusions of grandeur, they think their god's gift to the Indians. Like their gonna cure poverty and alcoholism by helping us feel more welcomed to spend our money in these racist businesses that chased their indian patrons off with their racism, the Bemidji economy wouldn't be very much if we indians didn't feel comfortable spending our money here. Our white brothers have once again forgotten how to appreciate his Ojibwe brother, I look around my community here and see entire families that have been reduced to being downtrodden, comfortable and defeated. The white man blames us for our current state as if he hasn't been encouraging this upon us for over a 100 years, arrogance is apparent, white privilege is evident, some of these pompous indians try and own this 'white privilege' as well, its embarrassing and quite disgusting to be truthfully honest. I think these programs are great that are tackling native problems, but I'm not going to waste my time with these people that aren't being realistic about the state of discontentment, they have no real answers for real problems, their just a distraction from getting anything done. Don't get me wrong, their intentions are good, but my attention is needed else where where it's going to make a difference, I have of yet to see any of these white people come out in support of a real Ojibwe leader thats committed to positive change within our community, maybe when I see them supporting us, then I'll support their neat little program.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
wanishkweyendamowin
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Dear Curtis,
ReplyDeleteA miigwech for your comments and sharing how you feel. This is good to share your thoughts. It will help someone I am sure. I wanted to say that I am happy that I am who I am whether you think if I act white. I am half 1st generation German and half native and for my lifetime I have struggled being hated by white folks and hated by natives. You know my children and they have physically fought their way through school, had huge issues with the law, school, gang stuff, etc. I even had to bury one of them in 2003.
You are dammed if you don’t and dammed if you do. My mom she was in boarding school so was my grandma - our family is from Naytahwaush (District 2). Our ojibwe language was a challenge (same story as others – shamed to speak it because of that era of discrimination against our people) - I have fluent ojibwe speaking grandchildren and I am learning because it is important to our family and community. I am not ashamed to learn. I dance jingle and have since I was a very, very young girl. It is good to know you are fluent and your children are – perhaps you are willing to teach our language to a small group of natives at People’s Church?
My family was raised in helping others. The past five years I have gone from angry to working with people to angry then back- I keep trying to set a walking example, keep going to lodge (our family is mide) and educating those who are ignorant.
I appreciated your comments they are heartfelt and I believe that everything we try can make a difference. What else but to try different ways - the issues with our people have been long standing and are hard.
When I read you work I understand but frankly the picture of work is huge and takes all kinds. I do not want to judge and label people it is not my way but I do understand.
I think of a mean barking dog in this person's yard. At first it draws attention because it is barking so loud then you learn to walk around and avoid that barking dog - I think I was a barking dog in this community and it was important for me to realize that no one cared or listened. Who cares that 67% of our people are in jail and the top four reasons are DWI,DUI,DAR or Domestic Violence. I try other ways without compromising who I am. I will continue to try and encourage all to keep going forward despite I may not think they live as I believe they should. Come spend time with the real people of Bemidji where I hang out - it is our people that live on the streets - I know that this is a total shame and wrong that they are - it makes me angry but each day, when I sit drinking coffee with them, being their friend, having them live with me during the winter, helping out when I can it is just a small simple way of doing a daily consistent thing to do....and keeping it out in the public that this is my family as well. I am very angry but I place my anger into the daily prayer on my rock by my door each day with osama. I ask for understanding and the strength to keep working. Your comments do sometimes make me just want to shut the office down and quit. Maybe that is what you want for all of us pitiful little people trying in our own small way just to give up.
well, I concider myself a real person of Bemidji, although i'm not homeless, some people are just born not to see red, that isn't my fault. Seems like you don't understand, the people I work with have open eyes, your treating this as an attack on your efforts, maybe you don't care to see the things I see. I see where your coming from, I don't believe that its fair to you to include yourself with those that I mentioned in my blog, although you were present at mentioned meeting, you assumed it was you that I mentioned in what you might see as in a negative perceptive. Maybe these Indians pride their 'whiteness' but then again, maybe that's a personal issue that you struggle with, sorry. I can convey sympathy for your internal struggle to identify with yourself, but that's as far as it can be of assistance. I could sit here also and explain myself and the tribulations I have endured, but I don't think that would accomplish much, but thank you, it was very insightful to be audience to your trials and accomplishment. I appreciate your feedback, you have of yet to lose my respect of your opinion, their are a few things you mentioned I do not agree with myself, but you've presented your opinion in a respectable manner. Don't give up Audrey, these are just my opinions, I put a lot of thought into my opinions, they are strong, because I put strength into them. This is how my spiritual lodge elders taught me how to think, their gone now, but their influence and voices remains through me, that's the least I can do to honor these men. I don't criticize your actions nor involvement, I just don't agree with some of them, that's just my opinion, don't take offense. You don't have to defend anything you do, I just don't think they concern me much and the responsibilities I was given, that's all, I'm going to put these little things we might find ourselves bickering about aside, I'm going to champion real issues with real results regardless if you want to compare me to your era in your life where you felt like you were the 'little dog.' You know what that is called When dogs quiets down? Its called being 'broken.' We need strong unbroken warriors that won't let people compare them to dogs then if that is the case, I'm not going to be a conventional Indian, I'm going to step up. I hoped you can support that, I can see where you might feel overwhelmed, maybe it would be best for you to step aside sometimes and let us handle some of these matters, point us in the direction of the fires, we'll go put em out before they consume our shared community. These struggles don't belong to one person to take on, they belong to us all, a tribe isn't just one person's effort, it includes every one, that's why its called a tribe. I don't think none of your effort are bad, I just think their small, their not confronting the root of these problems, thats for sure, I don't want my children to give way to this doubt. Is this really a friendly pat on the back? Or are you starting to see where I'm coming from, because if somebody was already dealing with these matters effectively then their wouldn't be no need for Greg, Nicole and I to step up and take these issues on. It seem like your attempting to make me feel sorry for you, well, I already have been, and I can apologize for opinion if that would help you continue with your efforts, who am I to question what any body does? These are just my opinions, take em or leave em, actions speak louder then words, and I'm a man of action, I hope my efforts help you feel better about the opinions I shared, they weren't meant to discourage you.
ReplyDeleteThank you and miigwitch